Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Everything about him screamed your future.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.