Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
