If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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