paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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