billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
