Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He has the fingertips of a God
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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