I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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