Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
