I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
