I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You can't motorboat a personality
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
