his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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