I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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