Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  are you still at the devil's house?

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  (248): are you still at the devil's house? http://tfl.nu/bw8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (2060)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.

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  (804): it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself. http://tfl.nu/cxw0
  Replies (12) Good night (636) Bad night (3452)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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  (813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289
  Replies (7) Good night (4380) Bad night (975)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i do.

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  (256): from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot. (334): i do. http://tfl.nu/nohm
  Replies (14) Good night (5647) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i drank out of a bidet.

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  (443): i drank out of a bidet. http://tfl.nu/arjg
  Replies (16) Good night (940) Bad night (4464)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

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  (574): Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things. http://tfl.nu/zj1a
  Replies (6) Good night (3010) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.

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  (+61): I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog. http://tfl.nu/k4kj
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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  (850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri
  Replies (15) Good night (725) Bad night (1922)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.

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  (614): You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song. http://tfl.nu/edyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1633) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

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  (660): The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working. http://tfl.nu/zgl5
  Replies (5) Good night (1280) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..

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  (315): And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness.. http://tfl.nu/wnyn
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.

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  (586): I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you. http://tfl.nu/2wjo
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.

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  (903): Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped. (1-903): Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good. http://tfl.nu/iolm
  Replies (8) Good night (1859) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?

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  (315): we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered? http://tfl.nu/k5ls
  Replies (10) Good night (780) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases

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  (603): Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases http://tfl.nu/75wr
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (163)

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