just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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