I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right