I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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