i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
