She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
