Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
