There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize