I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
