Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
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Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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