I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
