I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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