the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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