Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
