My balls are so social today.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
