i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
