That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if only i could text you this smell
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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