My room smells like vodka and shame
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
