the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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