I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
