conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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