My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
