Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
