I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
