you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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