I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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