This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
