I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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