Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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