im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
