just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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