hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
