You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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