I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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