Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
