How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
