Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
3pm strippers are depressing
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
