i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize