Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
