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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Are you dead

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Yes

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Oh man

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard

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• (941): View more from Florida

  For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.

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• (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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• (516): View more from New York

  If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.

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