Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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  (603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g
  Replies (3) Good night (1805) Bad night (534)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
  Replies (40) Good night (4151) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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  (804): And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively http://tfl.nu/2885
  Replies (15) Good night (5164) Bad night (648)
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  (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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  (381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw
  Replies (15) Good night (1383) Bad night (3244)
• Favorite

  (+32): View more from Belgium

  We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.

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  (+32): We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers. http://tfl.nu/61q6
  Replies (13) Good night (6585) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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  (617): I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker http://tfl.nu/yzaq
  Replies (25) Good night (6434) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

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  (414): The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there. http://tfl.nu/497c
  Replies (8) Good night (3304) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...

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  (636): I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem... http://tfl.nu/x4sc
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1058) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?

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  (619): Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex? http://tfl.nu/8w6e
  Replies (9) Good night (957) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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  (248): Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break http://tfl.nu/smjb
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

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  (706): Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit? http://tfl.nu/7qwr
  Replies (6) Good night (1186) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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  (+44): New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest. http://tfl.nu/rx56
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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  (860): grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone http://tfl.nu/vpvv
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (518)

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