and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel