A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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