Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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  (206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs
  Replies (5) Good night (2192) Bad night (646)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

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  (330): Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood http://tfl.nu/kses
  Replies (4) Good night (4051) Bad night (681)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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  (757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5
  Replies (15) Good night (4022) Bad night (1304)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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  (302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf
  Replies (13) Good night (979) Bad night (4291)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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  (404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64
  Replies (9) Good night (7116) Bad night (1308)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1700) Bad night (7320)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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  (416): Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender. http://tfl.nu/ts7y
  Replies (8) Good night (1227) Bad night (4015)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year

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  (205): Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year http://tfl.nu/pmyc
  Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (1838)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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  (805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (561)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.

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  (+44): I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/xxfg
  Replies (3) Good night (2245) Bad night (568)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted

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  (919): Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted http://tfl.nu/7mo3
  Replies (2) Good night (1624) Bad night (608)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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  (+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (739)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"

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  (410): he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco" http://tfl.nu/ntm8
  Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (295)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.

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  (618): Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed. http://tfl.nu/9x93
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (464)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (556)

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