Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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