I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
