so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch