a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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