Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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  (516): Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I<3 NY. http://tfl.nu/f30c
  Replies (54) Good night (5133) Bad night (597)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

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  (940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one. http://tfl.nu/4xsk
  Replies (35) Good night (15772) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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  (716): just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars. http://tfl.nu/fh2v
  Replies (13) Good night (4519) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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  (920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy
  Replies (18) Good night (2101) Bad night (6405)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

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  (401): After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple http://tfl.nu/1d3q
  Replies (11) Good night (4349) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.

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  (917): They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party. http://tfl.nu/9044
  Replies (8) Good night (3656) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3313) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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  (703): He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days. http://tfl.nu/iucs
  Replies (16) Good night (1877) Bad night (5892)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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  (701): I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?" http://tfl.nu/cr38
  Replies (12) Good night (4102) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...

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  (410): I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely... http://tfl.nu/3vo6
  Replies (3) Good night (1710) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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  (715): There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. http://tfl.nu/w1ne
  Replies (8) Good night (3441) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (742): View more from

  All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.

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  (742): All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat. http://tfl.nu/3hf2
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.

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  (417): Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail. http://tfl.nu/0q6b
  Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

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  (954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (516)

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