TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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