You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
