Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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