so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
