What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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