I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
