he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this will be a night to untag.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
