At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
