wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
