For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
