absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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