Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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