you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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